Menopause is one of those things that often feels as though it creeps up by surprise: one day you’re menstruating as normal, going about your busy life and feeling as though, finally, you’ve got a good grip on your hormones and what’s happening in your body and then suddenly… it arrives.
And for many wxmen, the wide variety of symptoms can feel confusing, scary and, at times, life-destroying, but we think that if menopause was talked about more – rather than treated as though it’s some sort of dirty secret – a lot of the fear and shock around it would lessen. Of course, everyone experiences it differently and it’s impossible to guess at how your own body might respond, but the more stories we hear from other women who are going through it, or have been through it, the less nervewracking the ‘process’ might be when we arrive there. In short, we want to make sure that we can all continue to live our best lives even when menopause hits.
When we think of perimenopause and menopause symptoms, it’s usually hot flushes and night sweats that spring to mind. And although these are two of the most common indicators, there are actually a whole range of symptoms linked to hormonal changes that don’t get much airtime at all. But we’re on a mission to change all that, so we spoke to 10 women about what they wish someone had told them about the menopause before they went through it, and then got a range of experts from Health & Her – who offer products, expertise, information and professional advice to help guide you through this tricky time – on the case to give you top tips on what’s going on and how to manage it.
9 women share what they wish someone had told them about the menopause
“I wish someone had told me about the word ‘perimenopause’ which is the time before the menopause where symptoms are experienced but you continue to have periods”
“For many women, it can be difficult to know if you are going through the menopause, especially if you already have scanty or irregular periods. We often refer to the time that leads up to the menopause – which can be months or years – as ‘perimenopause’,” explains Dr Shilpa McQuillan, GP. “During the perimenopause, some women may continue to have regular periods but experience symptoms of menopause. Others may start to notice changes to their periods – they may become more scanty and lighter, or they may become heavier. A good way to understand if you might be perimenopausal is to observe for other menopause symptoms including hot flushes, anxiety, low mood and sleep problems (more about this later in this article).”
“I wish someone had prepared me for the heavy bleeds during my period. The bleeds can be so heavy that the thought of standing up from a seated position becomes embarrassing and stressful.”
“Many women hope their periods will slow down, lighten then stop at menopause, but unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. Though they can space out, heavy periods in menopause can very often become more frequent and heavy for many women. The key trigger to heavy periods is changes in ovulation,” explains Anne Henderson, gynaecologist. “This results in what we call ‘disordered hormonal flux’ during the cycle. Instead of having a regular cyclical swing of oestrogen and progesterone each month, the hormone release can become very disordered, almost random. And that then leads to effectively random shedding of the lining without any predictable pattern.”
“There are options for management of heavy menstrual periods around the time of the menopause. Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) – such as ibuprofen – can help with blood loss and pain during a period. Hormonal options such as the pill or HRT may also be helpful in managing heavy periods. I would also advise patients to look at the sort of sanitary protection that they’re using and consider using an organic product. Organic products are generally made from bleach-free organic cotton. There is quite interesting anecdotal evidence – including from my own patients – that this does help heavy painful periods.”
“I wish someone had shared with me that HRT is really safe now and the earlier you start, the better.”
“As the name suggests, Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) is a treatment designed to replace the hormones in your body that you no longer make around the menopause. If you choose to try HRT, your medical professional will talk to you, look into your medical history and make suggestions about what might work best for you,” Dr McQullian says. “There are many ways you can manage menopause, but HRT has been shown to be the most effective treatment to reduce your symptoms and reduce your risk of osteoporosis and heart disease. It is especially important to help protect bone health in those with premature menopause. HRT is not generally recommended for women with a history of stroke or deep vein thrombosis; breast cancer; womb cancer; or severe liver disease. If you are interested in taking HRT, your GP can check which regimes are safe and suitable for your individual needs. The risks and benefits of each type of HRT will depend on your age, your general health, and any personal or family medical problems, but generally HRT is a safe option for most women.”
“I wish shared with me that the mental health symptoms are much more debilitating than the physical ones.”
“During menopause, symptoms such as anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, panic attacks and irritability are common and hard to cope with. Changes in the balance of your hormones during menopause, alongside life pressures, can prompt new emotional and mental symptoms. As oestrogen falls, your body’s ability to maintain the level coritsol (the hormone which deals with stress) is less effective as before, causing you to experience mood changes and stress more frequently,” Dr McQuillan tells GLAMOUR. “Testosterone also plays an important role on our mood and concentration (as well as libido and energy). Like oestrogen, these levels drop during menopause, symptoms such as anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, panic attacks and irritability are common and hard to cope with.”
“Changes in the balance of your hormones during menopause, alongside life pressures, can prompt new emotional and mental symptoms. As oestrogen falls, your body’s ability to maintain the level coritsol (the hormone which deals with stress) is less effective as before, causing you to experience mood changes and stress more frequently. Testosterone also plays an important role on our mood and concentration (as well as libido and energy). Like oestrogen, these levels drop around menopause and result in low mood and brain fog,” she adds. “Ensuring you are maintaining a healthy diet, engaging in regular exercise, and are cutting down on alcohol are key steps in helping to prepare you to deal with these emotional changes. Trying out some Cognitive Behavioral therapy (CBT) (a well-recognised treatment for stress and anxiety which includes improving mental health, relaxation techniques, mindfulness, and sleep hygiene) can also be useful. If you are struggling with mental health, you should consult your medical professional. Some women find that replacing their falling oestogen with HRT can be helpful in treating their menopause mental health changes.”
“I wish someone had shared with me that brain fog makes you feel like things you’ve known for many years have literally just fallen out of your head.”
Gynaecologist, Anne Henderson explains: “Many women are surprised by the changes to cognitive function that can occur around the menopause. Day to day function, your ability to multitask, and your ability to concentrate can be seriously affected. There is a direct link between the oestrogen changes at the time of perimenopause and menopause and this brain fog. Certain areas of the brain – particularly those associated with mood control, with anxiety and with cognitive function – have a very high number of receptors that are responsive to oestrogen. When the levels of the hormones start to decline, the receptors don’t function properly can arise. Treatment options depend very much on whether a woman is experiencing additional menopausal symptoms. If hot flushes and sweats, poor sleep, tiredness and other physical symptoms are troubling you, there is no doubt that HRT can be a huge benefit across the board. Even in women who have isolated psychological symptoms, there is a lot of scientific evidence that oestrogen replacement should be the first line treatment for mood problems…”
“I wish someone had shared with me how to communicate what was going on to my partner so that my menopause didn’t drive a wedge between us.”
“In many ways you become a different person when you go into the menopause as both your body and mood change; this in turn leads to changes in how you relate to your partner. Talking things through can be more difficult when you’re going through menopause as you are more focused on surviving some very intense physical and emotional changes. It can be hard to find the energy and patience to get your partner to understand what you’re going through. It’s important to encourage them to do their own research on menopause so the burden of educating them doesn’t fall on you. Once your partner is more aware of what you are going through, they’ll be in a better position to empathise and offer support. Sex and relationship therapy can be helpful in these situations, a therapist will be able to explain how your symptoms will affect the relationship and help your partner understand how they can be more supportive,” explains a Health & Her relationships councillor.
“I wish someone had shared with me that menopause is not an ending, it’s the beginning of something new and wonderful .”
“The menopause can be like other important changes you’ve experienced in your reproductive life, such as puberty, pregnancy, and childbirth. Just as at those times, your body is undergoing hormonal changes that can have unwelcome effects on your physical and emotional wellbeing, but that’s not the whole story,” says Dr Deborah Lancastle, Psychologist. “Dealing with the menopause may feel like an uphill battle sometimes, but it may help you feel more in control if you work out which issues are a priority to deal with and which can wait. It can also help to focus on and enjoy the parts of your life that are working well and giving you pleasure because this can increase your positive emotions and give you some relief from worry and distress.”
“I wish someone had shared with me that menopause can begin significantly earlier than you think.”
“For many women menopause occurs between the age of 45 and 55 (with the average age in UK being 51). For some women this may occur ‘early’ before the age of 45, or even ‘prematurely’ below the age of 40, known as Premature Ovarian Insufficiency (POI). However, perimenopause – the time before menopause, where you are still experiencing periods but your oestrogen levels begin to fluctuate, causing symptoms – can begin from your late 30s to early 40s onwards,” explains Dr Shilpa McQuillan.
“I wish someone had shared with me that I wasn’t alone and that other people were also experiencing embarrassing symptoms.”
“Many recent surveys and studies have shown that menopause can cause a negative impact on quality of life. This isn’t surprising given the vast range and intensity of symptoms it can cause. Some people still see menopause as a ‘taboo’ subject and are afraid to talk about it. Try to remember that menopause is really common – symptoms that you may find embarrassing like hot flushes, sweats, or incontinence are experienced by thousands of other women and are nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. Don’t let shame or embarrassment around these symptoms prevent you from seeking out healthcare for your needs – your doctor will have ‘seen it before’. Whether your doctor is male or female, we are trained to be professional and to provide the best level of care,” Dr Shilpa McQuillan tells GLAMOUR.
https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/menopause-advice
